Wedding Planning Timeline
SIX MONTHS BEFORE
Fight over whether wedding is to be formal or informal.
Fight over what is meant
by "formal" and "informal".
Fight over size of wedding.
Fight over whether seventy-five people can be considered a small wedding.
over whether silver and china fit into your way of life.
Fight over whether silver and china are a better investment than stereo equipment.
over whether the wedding will be recognized by God unless everybody present at the reception is groaning audibly and able, through
your bounty, to go home sick.
THREE MONTHS BEFORE
Fight over whether anybody can really tell the difference between engraving
and raised print.
Fight over whether relatives who had bitter divorces should be invited, as well as their former spouses.
whether wearing a white wedding dress will be worth enduring the sneers of people who believe these must be accessorized by intact
Fight over whether the mother of the bridegroom should be forced to wear a type of dress she dislikes in order to be visually
paired with the mother of the bride, who finds that style flattering.
Fight over forcing the grandmothers as well to match.
Fight over the discovery that bridegroom's family has not only exceeded its quota of guests, but has provided a list
using initials instead of names and terms such as "and family" for children.
Fight over whether guests' requests to bring their current
love interests should be honoured and who is going to tell people that their small children will not be welcome.
Fight over slurs made
toward relatives who sent cheap or tasteless presents.
ONE MONTH BEFORE
Fight over whether it is the bride or the bride's mother
who is a fault because elderly friends are beginning to complain that their presents have not yet been acknowledged.
Fight over whether
the seating arrangements should be done according to tradition or according to who is speaking to whom.
ONE WEEK BEFORE
over the failure of some guests from each side to answer invitations and about who is going to prod whom so as to provide accurate
numbers to the caterer.
Fight over how much luggage is to be taken on the honeymoon.
Fight over the wisdom of marrying a person now
discovered to be short-tempered, stylistically alien to one's own tradition, and completely absorbed in petty details to the exclusion
of any intellectual or romantic activity.
AT THE WEDDING
Fight over whether the ceremonial kiss should demonstrate enthusiasm
for the marriage or protect the bridal makeup.
Fight over whether it is each other, the wedding guests, or the photographer who deserves
the bridal couple's chief attention during the reception.